Matters of the heart.

Its been 15 days since i started messaging her. But it looks like everything ended all of a sudden. I don't know why she did that. I hope i'll be fine after awhile.

Last night was a stormy night. The night left me sleepless on my bed. All of a sudden, i feel so empty. No more of her? The thought of that saddens me. I must thank her for teaching what is called love. I found a new definition for love. Love: someone worth sacrificing for. I thought about it. If one day, something happens to her, I might be willing to do anything for her. If it was someone else, I wouldn't think that way. I guess I can call her my first love. It might be hard to believe. But I think I finally understand what is love. Its the first time i cried for a girl. Its funny, but its true. I have never cried for any other girl before. I don't know why. It just made me feel like crying. I was on my bed. Tears just fell out for no reason. Don't know why.

Do I feel bad? Yes I do. I guess I'm not good enough. I'm not perfect enough. Too oversensitive, too much thoughts and too small. James helped me with printing the grad photo last night. I framed the pic up. Now it haunts me. The moment I look at it, I feel sad. A simple word but it describes exactly how I feel.

I'm never going to play the piano again. Unless someone offers me a better reason to touch the keyboard.

I guess I will continue to wait. I'm acting fine. I'm not fine. I feel unwell. Seriously. To say hi to her as if nothing happened is impossible. I can look as if nothing nothing has happened. But that's not the truth. Its like a box of sand. A half-filled box. Suddenly, someone pushes a rock into the sand. The box is now full. Then you pluck that stone out. You leave a dent in the box of sand and the sand will never level itself again. Its like that.

My first love. Appeared suddenly and disappeared suddenly. I can still remember that chain on her neck. I was so close to her. Suddenly, everything seems so far away. Cry hard. Yes, cry hard. Emotionally hurt. Seriously.

IgN still rocks. I'm sorry kiat. I will never be late again.

love,
spoon

Ps:Kiat you know you are important to me. Sorry kiat.