-day 1 without my soulmates-
today's 7 already.

Today i woke up and went to work. I didn't settle things with lung completely but at least it was a temporary remedy to the situation. But at least I feel slightly better already. I repeated "put it in, press press, shelf it" for more than 800 times again today. I'm feeling so sick about it already. But yet i'm going to do it again tomorrow.

Actually I felt quite offended when kiat mentioned something abt girls. I just didn't voice up. But its alright I guess. Also, I wanted to go to M'sia just for fun, but kiat and jun don't wanna. Or maybe they cannot. Sigh. GO LEH. Its so boring in singapore.

Let's just talk abit about myself today. I feel that i'm an imperfect person. Sometimes, I feel so small. Like that time I told james not to talk so much about cartoon and everything, then i saw avril tagging his board saying that its alright and he should be himself or sth like that. Then I felt so small. I seem so myopic.

I felt so empty after knocking off from work just now. There's nothing to look forward to. And I really just miss them too much. The weather is really windy and cold today. I was wondering if the wind that just blew past me earlier on blew past her too yesterday or something like that. Or maybe the wind that just blew past me would reach her tomorrow or something like that. The distance is like...More than 1600km? I don't know. Maybe its snowing over there and she's having fun. And I hope emmy's enjoying her bonding with her friends.

I think i'm thinking too much again. Its never good to think too much.

I was reading my emails to celia that were sent two years ago during this season too. I felt really bad. But I guess I meant what I said then. I feel a little disgusted at what I said in those emails. I blame those nonsense on my raging hormones. I know it will never happen again. But even then, those were the times when I dared to do things that I wanted to do. Like confessing to a girl in her face. Its impossible to do it again now. I've grown a little. A little more awkward. I feel really bad for all the things that I have done to celia. I wish I could make it up to her. But I guess she's ok now. And she looked marvellous during prom! so pretty! O yes. I drooled.

Its going to be christmas soon. Its beginning to look like christmas. The weather's turning cold and windy. The streets are all nicely decorated. I'm ready to shop for the christmas present. Of course, the other christmas gifts as well!

Love
Spoon(Empty and missing 4e7)