my speech problem.

I'll just talk about my speech problem today. I'm talking to kiat now. And I realised that yes, i really have stopped talking as much as i did as compared to in the past.

I forget since when i have stopped doing so. I remembered that in the past, I always liked sharing with people how i feel about issues and stuffs. like why i don't like this and that. and why i think which subject sucks and which doesn't. and everything else. in primary school, i always liked making lots of noise. I would speak as if there's no tomorrow and i loved teachers, especially Mr Lum. And i really really like to talk.

Now, Kiat tells me that im so quiet that im quite scary in a way. wtf.

anyway, im wondering why. I figured out some things.

I really hate it when someone butts in when i'm speaking. So i don't do that to others. I think its inconsiderate. So when there's a conversation going on, i won't interupt just like that.

when i was in e3 in my lower sec, i began to quieten down. its because of that bastard group. that im not surprised at all.

then when i got into e7 in my upper sec, i believe i worsened. I remembered that on the first day of school in 2003, i looked around and I realised the class was abit dominated by the ex e5 pple. I didn't want to speak. Then one day i talked to some girl online and said something that is soooo wrong. It was not the day i really stopped liking to talk. That fine day was someday i realised i was soooo detested. It hit me like how a bulldozer would ram down a wall.

And i soon stopped talking when i have no reason to talk.

It was very logical. I stopped talking for no reason because i offended someone when i had nothing to talk abt but yet i want to talk abt something. I think that it would help to reduce chances of offending people.

Being quiet isn't that bad altogether because you're not pressured to speak all the time. But it makes one slow to adapt to new environments.

I think I'm really struggling. Now I find problems socialising with people.

Love
spoon